I have been talking online to a man I met a few months ago. I met him on a Christian online dating service and he is very respectful and believes in a courting relationship, rather than a typical dating relationship. So, he likes to take things slow. We both agreed that we really like each other and he even told me he wants to make a trip in the spring to meet me. The only thing is that we haven’t really talked regularly in the past few weeks because his mother is ill with a poor prognosis. Is it wrong for me to still talk with other people that have emailed me on the dating service, after he has expressed his desire to meet me? I really do like him and I hate to sound selfish (I know that he is busy with family matters) but how long do I wait for him to actually call me or take some time to chat online? Is that selfish of me considering his mother is ill? I sometimes feel a bit guilty about responding to other men’s requests to get to know me, but how long do I wait for him?!
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8 comments to Do I Wait For The Man Or Move On? |
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If you want a life,Move On !!
NEVER wait on a man. I know you feel bad about his mother, but that is his family problem that he has to deal with. Keep him on ‘the back burner’, and go have fun. You have no obligations to anyone right now.
It sounds like you two do not have a devoted, committed relationship as of yet, and that you are just talking, getting to know each other. You haven’t even met from what I could tell by your question. This means that you are free to talk to or see anyone that you want in the meantime. If you think you’ve got a good thing going with him, and you think that he feels the same way, then you may want to just not talk with other people (if you think it would upset him). I don’t think you are being selfish by any means, again you two haven’t promised each other any relationship of any kind as of yet.
Have you tried dropping him an e-mail, and letting him know that you are there for him to talk, listen to him if he needs someone to vent, or to just be a shoulder to cry on? It sounds like the situation he’s going thru could be a tough one, and I bet he would really appreciate knowing he has your support. As for him not spending all of his time with you, that part, I do think you are being selfish about. Family comes first, and he’s not in a committed relationship with you as of yet, so he definately has every right to put his family before you.
Your not in a actual relationship with him I would keep my options open and continue to talk to other people. I would not wait for him, he will call or email when he gets a chance
I think it is worth to wait ! ! ! what’s the rush? anyway
If you are single don’t stop responding to others who may interest you. Who knows..it might be the one you talked to on Sunday. The guy with the dark hair and blue eyes. Yes, he is the one.
As a dating coach, let me give my 2 cents here.
1) Is it wrong of you to flirt with other men while you’re very much interested in guy XYZ?
No. In fact, men and women in couples and in marriages flirt. It’s actually quite healthy: it creates sexual tension, but at the end of the day you go home and release that tension (in a good way) on your partner.
Flirting doesn’t equal cheating on…
So, even if you two would be a “thing”, it STILL wouldn’t be a problem.
2) Is it wrong of you to see whether you can meet another guy or not because guy XYZ has some issues he needs to deal with?
Again, no. You’re not in a relationship. In fact, the single biggest mistake men make when it comes to relationships is…
Entering a relationship with a woman who has emotional bagage. Bagage as in: her ex cheated on her, she’s grieving, she’s despressed, afraid of commitment, etc.
Because guess who will experience the consequences? YOU, if you date a guy who has issues… he’ll take them out on you.
That’s what people do whenever they’ve got isues: they go and seek comfort with the people that are most important to them.
You don’t want to start a rescue-saver relationship like that, because it will give you a world of trouble.
Move on. Your choice: you can keep the door open for when he’s back, but be sure to tell him that you don’t want a man with bagage.
To More Dating Success,
Dennis Miedema
Win With Women
Amazing! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a completely different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!