I must warn you, this is in fact a complicated story.
In March of 2009, I met a girl at a birthday party. She lives in the next town over and goes to school with some friends of mine. Let’s call her Jane.
Jane and I had a connection upon meeting. She tried to get me to dance the whole night, but I don’t especially like to dance so this was a challenge for her, but she persisted. Finally, a slow song came on and I got up and danced with her. That song became our song.
About 5 days later, we hung out and held hands. Then, 4 days after that, we hung out again and had our first kiss. I then asked her to the dance at my school, and she came. I asked her to be my girlfriend that night, and she said yes.
Several weeks went by, and I sent her a cute text message. She apparently showed it to her friend John.
[Now here is the story with John. She was on her friend’s screen name about a month before we met and started talking to this guy. He was over a year older than her, and went to her friends school which is neither hers, nor mine. They liked each other, but had never met in person. You will hear me mention his name quite often.]
Her friend John told her that he had seen that message before somewhere online. She then thought I took it from somewhere and got mad at me. Eventually, she did believe me.
Over the Summer, she got a sunburn on her butt. He told he wanted to lick it better. He also said he wanted to shower with her. She then proceeded to ask me if I would be ok with them hanging out. I didn’t think she would try anything, but it was him that I did not trust. I told her I would feel more comfortable if she stopped talking to him and that she needed to choose between me and him. She chose me. But she still talked to him.
I then found out through a mutual friend that she had feelings for him. She did love me though. She was severely confused. I started to get scared, especially since I was seeing her less and less because of her busy schedule. Finally, I called a friend that I had not heard from in a while because I thought she was across the country for the summer. She was actually back, so we planned to hang out and go for a walk.
I suppose that on the walk, I felt comfortable and free from my problems and I had a sort of “at peace” feeling that my friend gave me. I felt something for her. That night, I suggested to Jane that we should take a break. There were three conditions. We promised each other that we could get back together within a year, that we would save our virginities for each other, and that we would remain friends during the break.
I lied to her. I was not honest with her about my feelings for the other girl. It was part of the reason I suggested the break, but not the whole reason. I could not see Jane often since she was busy, and I knew she had feelings for him.
Me and the other girl did eventually go out, but I cheated on her with Jane. I kissed Jane when I saw her. I loved her. Breaking up with her was the biggest mistake of my life. She eventually found out that I wasn’t honest that me and the other girl were dating and got extremely upset because we planned on getting back together soon (me and the other girl had already broken up)
Things got a little better, but she said she didn’t want anything with anyone. 4 days later, she was dating John. That was a month and a half ago.
She promised we could go to a place that has a lot of Christmas lights to look at.
I still love her. I miss her. I don’t think this John is good for her. He yelled at her because her phone died, he doesn’t trust her to hang out with me. He told her to stop talking to me. (Yes, I suppose I did the same. But I didn’t want her to get raped or something, because she had never met this guy and he wanted to hang out alone? Shady…)
She says she wants to be friends, but that she wants me to not talk to her for a while to give her space. I respect that. But now she couldn’t keep her promise about going to that place. Instead, her facebook profile picture is her. There. With him.
She says that “he is her everything” and he is so “amazing”. She says she feels nothing for me anymore and that she wants me to be happy and move on. But I can’t lie to another girl. I love Jane. I would do anything to get her back. Telling this story to someone that does not know us both personally, it sounds like a stalker story, and I can see why. But that’s not me. I’m a guy with a big heart, and I may have screwed up. Bigtime. But there are no lengths I would not go through to prove to her that I am better than I showed a few months ago. He doesn’t even trust her not to talk to me. He told her if she talks to me he’d break up with her. But she still does, and he tells her he doesn’t trust her. I suppose he shouldn’t trust her, either.
The possibilities I can gather are endless. Maybe she just needs to be with him right now so that a future relationship with me
and her would be better?
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I’m A Teenager, Still In Love With My Ex Girlfriend Who Is Dating Another Guy. Tips?11 comments to I’m A Teenager, Still In Love With My Ex Girlfriend Who Is Dating Another Guy. Tips? |
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A complicated story with a simple solution:
Forget about her and move on, for 2 reasons:
1- If you DO want her back, and you never come to your senses… you are more likely to get her back ANYWAY if you make her jealous and emotional of you guys’ separation by showing A- that you have moved on, B- that you may have loved her but you still have high value, C- that you arent clingy or pressed on her (turnoff), and D- that you can and do and am getting other hot girls. (put pics up on facebook from parties or whatever haha, and if u dont go to them, START! and bring a camera lol).
On the contrary, if you want her back but just try to contact her and/or don’t show you have moved on/are getting other girls…. it makes her dislike you, feel guilty thus hating you even more, and worse, be embarrassed for you. last but not least, this lowers your social value A TON so even tho she now might feel sorry for you, the idea of going back out with you WOULD NEVER EVEN OCCUR TO HER!!!
2- If you DON’T want her back (meaning you have come to your senses), this ALSO benefits you. It’s always good to have another life now that you have moved on, because if you forget about her but dont do anything else good, what’s new?
======================================…
You only like her because she is the best you currently have.
As a Pick Up Artist, I can tell you that those emotions are temporary and fleeting, and that if you get another girl to make out with you- or a few- that those feelings you have for your girl will fade pretty rapidly! And next thing you know, SHE wants YOU back, and not the other way around! =)
Do any of the things:-
Forget her, find a better one.
Try to become like what she likes.
Try to do only those things which is better for her.
Hope it helps
If you truly love her, and you’re willing to be patient and wait, you will be her shoulder to cry on when he hurts her. Or you move on, not move on and date someone else, but spare yourself the pain and sadness and just, get your mind off it. Hang out with your friends, just be friends with her, nothing more, nothing less. Let her know you’re always there for her.
I’m going to disregard the fact that you cheated on the other girl because overall, you sound like a fairly genuine and sensitive guy. It’s good that you said you wouldn’t do it again.
Interesting story dude, really!
Wow, you sound like a really nice guy. Well here’s my advice. Let her have her space right now because you never know, a little ways down the road something could happen between her and John. Then, there’s your chance.
I’m sorry but there’s probably not much more you can do right now than that.
Kyle,
Be her friend.
Great job writing an organized account of everything. I am sorry that this is happening.
Alright, I’m gonna be brutally honest at first and then explain after. You need to move on. You made a few mistakes, live and learn. You need to move on (twice said for emphasis).
A relationship is more than one person loving another person. It has to be mutual. She obviously has moved on and you need to too. Your feelings go out to no one who is willing to give them back.
Those conditions are what I like to call temporary unrealistic conditions. You knew that when you broke up with her, you had every intention of getting back together with her and we’ll say she did too. But as we grow, we change, especially when we are young. She found someone new, someone you don;t like. No duh you don’t like him. He has the girl you love. But that’s not the point. You can’t make conditions on a break up. Trust me.
My girlfriend left me before I left for the Army, she said she’d wait for me, that I knew where she was when I came back. I found comfort in her words, but deep down I knew that in a few weeks to a few months she would move on. She did. Within 3 weeks I got a message saying she found someone else DESPITE the fact I love her and she admittedly loved me. You can’t promise nor expect to fulfill those promises at such a later date (a year is a long time).
I am truly sorry you have lost something so precious to you but that’s that. It is what it is. Now you have to move on. Its hard but you can do it. High School (I believe you’re in High School), is such an unstable time in our lives and so too are relationships.
Good luck.
PS:
After thinking alittle more on this, I realized I missed something. My ex broke up with me but we are still friends. I love her very very much. I find that being her friend than nothing is more than I can ask for. So you can do that, accept the pain and just be her friend.
Be that shoulder so to speak, should she ever need one. Maybe, maybe she may come around to you again. Maybe. But never get your hopes up to high!
Good luck now.
Aaaww try your best to forget her because cases are that she maye completly took you outta her mind you have to do the same babe.
I am dating a guy who went through something very similar. He cannot move on and it is ruining his life. Nothing we do can change the people around us, so we must accept it and deal with it getting hurt along the way or cut them from our lives and saving ourselves the extra heart break. Maybe she will come to her senses or maybe you will fine someone who will give you their whole heart. Best of Luck.
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I recently saw a testimony about a spell caster of some sort in a blog I visit for relationship and marriage counselling problems and I just thought after ripped off the previous year of almost about $580, I should try it*maybe out of desperation of some sort*..and I contacted them..Atfirst everything felt dreamy and unbelievable,their consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cos I heard read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters and scammers ripping people off their money..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything went to a while new direction,it was and is amazing…I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day..I hope they could help other people too like they did me…I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for*my husband,my family and my life back*their address is garushiraad@gmail.com…
I hated going to work every day to see the sniveling little weasel that cheated to get his current position. When I say cheated, I mean literally, he started an affair with the female director (while they were both married) and despite the fact that my abilities were stronger he got the job I wanted. I found divine.lovespell@aol.com and had a Lose his job revenge spell cast. About a week later he was fired for undisclosed reasons.
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