Is It Better To Be Proactive About Dating Or Just Let It Happen?

Hey, I am a gay male, 21, and I have tried being proactive about dating, using online personals, going to bars, etc. I have, thus far, had very little success in meeting anyone and sometimes think it would be best to just wait and let fate take its course. Perhaps one day I will have a friend who will introduce me to the love of my life. But sometimes I think I’m dreaming and this never happens. Yet, I don’t think meeting guys at bars or clubs is a good way eitherr…too many of the guys there just want sex, and that’s not all I’m looking for. Should I just hope someone comes along or is it better to be aggressive? I feel desperate sometimes bc it seems like it’s impossible to meet anyone….but then I tell myself to just be patient…that I’ll meet someone when I’m not even expecting it. Is my head in the clouds? I am pretty average in appearance…maybe that’s why I have trouble meeting guys…

This entry was posted on Monday, December 7th, 2009 at 8:19 pm and is filed under Gay Online Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Tags: , , , , ,

Posted in Gay Online Dating

4 Responses to “Is It Better To Be Proactive About Dating Or Just Let It Happen?”


blueberr December 7th, 2009 at 8:19 pm

Maybe you’re not really gay. Go to a “regular” bar and see what happens? I am not trying to be silly here- in your question you don’t seem convinced.

pammy December 7th, 2009 at 8:19 pm

I don’t think anyone should go to any extremes. I think you should do those things you enjoy doing, put yourself out there so you can meet someone. Maybe do some volunteer work. Then sit back, relax and let it happen.

Jen December 7th, 2009 at 8:19 pm

I have been podering this myself for the last year or so since a horrible break up…..
Once I became ok with being alone, I really got into me. I am having the time of my life now. It will happen. In due time.
Done force it, it wont be “right”
You are young….you have plenty of time and it will happen. Enjoy yourself before the hard work of a relationship steps in. Have fun with freinds and before u know it, someone will see how at ease you are with yourself and be dying to get next to you!
Good luck!

Paulo.GZ December 7th, 2009 at 8:19 pm

I finally found the love of my life 17 years ago when I was in my late twenties. We had met before but neither of us knew that the other one was gay, until I gave him a lift home one night from the “straight” pub I managed, but that’s another story.
Gay Clubs n Pubs are catch 22 situations, there will all ways be the predators and the prey, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a decent partner in them, case of trial and error. Don’t focus on your appearance, like most people I believe what’s on the inside of a person is far more important.
Good luck and good hunting



Leave a Reply