Is My Ex Gay? What Do You Think?

My ex and I separated 2 days ago after 7 years of strugging to save the relationship. We have to kids together. I have i other from a previor marriage and he has 1 from a previous relatioship as well. 2 days ago I asked him to leave, I couldn’t take it anymore. He said he didn’t want his kids to know that he left them. I guess he was worried about our financial situation because I have no income (no job) at this time. I checked his cell phone usage online (I know I shouldn’t have done that) and found out he called 2 gay dating hotlines for several hours (I talked to customer service to verify and they are only for gay men and women. I’ve been caliing him to ask him to tell me the truth but he does not answer. Do you think he is gay? Would he still be a good father to our son and daughter? I don’t have nothing against gay? But I never thought of this happening to me. Please help.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm and is filed under Gay Online Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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14 Responses to “Is My Ex Gay? What Do You Think?”


psychoki November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

of course you didn`t turn him gay.
He might be gay and hiding it…or bi.
However he shouldn`t have been calling any kind of dating hotlines while you were still together. If it was after he left, then he has the right…..whether it is for men or women.
Of course he could still be a good father…whether he is gay, straight or bi.Gay is NOT the same as pedophile (most of whom are straight anyway)
Please do not come between him and his kids.
If you are separated…then you cannot fight about whether he is gay or bi…..Stop calling him and let it go. It will hurt terribly if he is…..but it is not personal against you.

DemonFox November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

If he’s calling gay chatlines my gut would say yes, he’s gay. Being gay doesn’t make a person a bad parent. Sit down with him and discuss what the arrangements are going to be for your children and how that will work. He doesn’t sound like a bad guy -especially if he’s concerned about your financial situation and his children. However, lying to you and pretending to be something he isn’t is not easily forgotten. I would divorce as quickly & quietly as you can and remain friends so that you can parent your children successfully.

spanish mortgage rates November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

sexual orientation has no bearing on weather an individual will/can be a good parent. No straight men I know would call a gay dating service. So you’re ex is either Gay, Bi, or Bi-Curious…sorry.

Mel7382 November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Darling, unless someone borrowed his phone, he’s gay. And yes, he will still make a great father. Maybe that’s the reason why there was so many issues.
Good luck!

Amos S November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

ouch,yes.he’s gay.nothing you did,so don’t dwell on it.I’m sure he will continue to be a decent father.

Vince November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Most probably yes! To what i feel, a Gay can also be a good father.

Stranded November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Straight men don’t call gay dating services. If he’s a good dad…he should still be even if it comes out he’s gay.

Sue B November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

more like he’s BI.
His sexuality has nothing to do with his parenting! Geez, you have seen he’s ok with the kids so far right?? So why would you finding a secret make him a bad parent?

xrayman 7 November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

what do you think? seems pretty obvious

Happy-2 November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

If he has children, that means he had sex with a woman. In order to have sex with a woman, a man has to feel sexually aroused. Sexual arousal for a member of the opposite sex means that it is, by definition, impossible that he is gay (homosexual). However, given his phone activities, I would say it is highly probable that he is bisexual.
And if it takes one to know one, you can take my word for it. I am a man who is bisexual by preference, but who has been married to a woman for 21 years and never cheated on her with a man. And just for the record, I consider myself to be an excellent father! (My wife thinks so too.)

Fighting to make it work!! November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

LIARS, I don’t like Liars!!!!! He is gay or confused about his sexuality. You need to ask him has he ever acted on these feelings. In that case, you need to get checked for any STD’s!!! But I understand how you feel because I don’t care what anyone says that hurts when you find out that your husband is gay. If it was another woman, to me, it would’ve been easier because you would know what to do and what to expect. But when it is a man what can you do? The worse part of it was that it was a dating service, so that means that he was LOOKING and that hurts more. If I were you, I would just leave him alone, but still let him see his kids because they are half his anyway. But he is unclear about what he wants and you don’t want to be exposed to any STD’s that he could be exposed to.

Onetopla November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

The gay-o-meter says high risk!
Doesn’t mean he can’t or won’t be a good Dad. Give him a chance.
Ouch! I hope you don’t take it personal if you find that he is gay. This happened to a man I know. His wife was gay and ‘came out’ after 17 years of marriage and the birth of two sons. He was devastated! It wasn’t his fault and it wouldn’t be your fault. This is something your husband would have to explain to your children. He should take full responsibility for whatever happens (if anything) with his relationship between your kids and him. I feel horrible for the kids that are put in a position like this! It isn’t fair to them. Just be there for your children should they need you.
Good luck to you and your family.

BaconYUM November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

See this is what happens when girls try to experiment with the male anus. Some guys go gay and others leave you. When my ex tried to play with my anus, i always said no, but i still left her cause i couldn’t deal with bi polar s**t fits everyday.

rope14u November 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm

YOU TURNED HIM GAY. LEAVE HIM ALONE GIVE HIM TIME TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS



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