http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shy – this essentially describes my current situation with women. At age 30 and despite many professional successes and being told I’m a very nice and caring person by many people, I have never had a g/f or been in a relationship (ever).
To try to fix the relationship situation, and b/c repeated efforts at online dating just didn’t work for me, I signed up for a local brick-and-mortar matchmaking service that tries to match people looking for serious and long-term relationships, with the ultimate goal of matching people with persons that would make good potential partners for an eventual married relationship. Criteria used to match are based on compatibility, numerous scientific personality assessments, and other character assessments. I am guaranteed nearly 30 unique matches for potential dates, which the agency coordinates.
So the first match arrived by postal mail today, with the a summary of the match’s interests, profile, and phone number included. To set up the actual date, I have to call the match to ask her out and take it from there to see how things go. However, given the approach being used and my inexperience with relationships, what would you recommend actually talking about with the match on the first phone call? Also any recommendations on what would be a good first date idea? Thanks!
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Ladies Only Please: Serious Dating Advice Needed For A Love-shy Guy?8 comments to Ladies Only Please: Serious Dating Advice Needed For A Love-shy Guy? |
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Well my advice is to just phone and when she answers, first of all introduce yourself and tell her you’d be interested in taking her out and getting to know her better.
If phone chat isn’t your strong point, then keep it short and simple. Just introduce yourself, make the arrangements, tell her it wasnice to have spoken to her and end the call.You can ask her questions and get to know her better on the date. If there are any awkward silences you could ask her a few questions like what specifically is she looking for? What kind of man is she interested in…etc.
As a date idea, I would ask her on the phone if she has anything in particular that she’d like to do. If she doesn’t (which I guarentee she won’t but it’s always nice to be asked ) then tell her you will set the date up and have it all planned. (which is always nice) Theres nothing worse than going on an unplanned date and taking an hour just to decide what to do.
Anyway, I don’t know you, so it’s hard to say what a good date idea would be for the two of you. Maybe go golfing together, then out to a nice dinner at a decent restaurant. Good luck! =)
sorry i’m a guy and couldn’t help come over here…BE A MAN!!! lol jk(see its funny because i came to a ladies only question) but all jokes aside, i’d start out with a joke, ” hey is this katie? No ok well if Katie shows up tell her that her dream guy Rob who is handsumb, sweet, and funny is waiting for her at Pizza Hut” Katie and Rob optional Pizza Hut mandated!!…you know that wasn’t a joke, just remember there’s some girl out there like you, best of luck
It’s ok to be shy and nervous to call. She went to the same matchmaking agency so she is serious about meeting someone as well, so it should be easier, knowing that she had the same intentions as you. I would call her and introduce yourself, and compliment her on something that you saw in her profile that you like..preferably her picture. Read what her interests are, and make conversation by asking a little bit about herself. The conversation should flow. If it’s a good match once you start talking you will automatically get into a nice conversation, and you will get to know each other a little bit. Listen to what she says, and play it by ear where the conversation goes. Be confident when you call, but you can tell her that you are nervous..that’s only natural. I would make the first date a short date, somewhere you can talk. Going out for coffee, walking around shopping, a walk at the beach, meeting for drinks at a quiet pub, something along those lines is a good idea. Good Luck!
Hi! First of all, I recommend flat out telling your match(es) that you’re nervous and shy. If they know that, it’s a lot easier to look past a bit of awkward conversation. Comment on some of the things about her interests–maybe you have something in common? Or would you be interested in learning more about something she finds interesting? For example, if she says she likes kayaking and you’d like to try it, tell her! Maybe you could arrange something like that for a first date. Ask questions; let her know you’re interested in what she has to say.
As far as a first date, do something relatively active so that your hands are busy and you have somewhere to look besides only into each other’s eyes. There’s nothing like the (awful) pressure of staring across a restaurant table at each other, figeting, and trying to figure out something to say in the silence. Go for a walk, rent some kayaks, take a bike ride, take a motzarella making class at the local food co-op, etc. You’ll probably have to eat somewhere in there, but try not to pick a quiet “romantic” spot where you’ll have to sit for 2 hours staring at each other. Ethnic food is always good–gives you something new to try and to talk about, too! There’s always room for a quiet, candlelit place on another date, if things go well!
Best of luck!
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