I’ve met a guy I’ve met through an online dating site and have moved in to his city a few months after we’ve begun talking VIA instant messaging. Hes a very sweet guy and I like him very much. We’ve made out and got intimate a few times. We hold hands in the car while we listen to music and hes open to displays of affection in private. However when we are in public, in front of his parents, or friends, he would only introduce me as a friend and would deflect my attempts to hold his hand. His friend is coming to town this week and he invited me to hang out with them, but I feel as if I do I’ll just be introduced only as his ‘friend’ which makes me feel a little hurt. Besides, I think it’ll be good for him to hang out with his budds cause hes been working so hard. I just know what to interpret from it and if I should continue with this relationship or take it serious if this is how it might be in the long term. I don’t want to force him out, its his choice. Feedback appreciated!
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5 comments to Long Term Gay Relationship With Closet? |
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You might enjoy the attention of the two of you coming out at first, but really, it fades away eventually…
Enjoy your relationship for being with him, not for its appeal to other people.
I see nothing wrong with choosing to stay closeted if homosexuality isn’t as socially acceptable where you are. However, feeling ashamed is a different issue and that should be eliminated.
Try to SUGGEST that he comes out to his friends, yet do not force. don’t let his closetedness affect your relationship
Sounds like a good relationship, don’t end it over that. When he is ready to come out to everyone he will. I am openly gay, but I dont hold hands or show affection to my boyfriend in public places, or even in front of our friends. I find it rude.
tough one, but try to give him time to come out. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it, and aww this sounds story so cute. Lol, and it’s okay to feel a little under appreciated… but he sounds like he loves you. Just hang in there :] good luck
Try to understand what it was like when you first come out or before you came out even.
Your friend probably has not come out to his friends and family yet. You should sit down with him and discuss your concerns directly and frankly. Tell him you don’t want to be seen as just his friend, but if the two of you agree that you want to continue working on this relationship, you need to be sensitive to the fact that he may not have come out yet. If it helps, you should try to establish a time-frame together during which you agree to wait and be patient and during which he agrees to come out. It may even help if you plan a party or celebration for his coming out. If you honor each other’s needs, your chances at creating a successful relationship are 100% times better.