I am meeting a girl I have met online, for the first time in real life next week. We have talked on the phone a few times, but mainly chatted on MSN.
I am usually quite a shy person when meeting girls, but I can usually do OK when the pressure is on (I once went on a blind date and coped reasonably well).
We are meeting in London which is halfway between where we both live and as a result, we have booked a hotel which means we will probably be sharing a bed (though I do have a backup plan, just in case) – is that a bit too much, too soon?
But what I’d like is; has anybody been in a similar situation and does anybody have any tips on us meeting for the first time?
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Meeting An Online Date For The First Time; Any Tips?10 comments to Meeting An Online Date For The First Time; Any Tips? |
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I kinda met my bf online although I had already known him years earlier through the swimming club so he wasn’t a complete stranger.
I don’t mean to be sexist but as a guy you probably have less to worry about in terms of threat… oh you know what i mean.
I would say you biggest hurdle will be the fact that you are meeting for the 1st time but you already know each other and it can be weird. I think you should be able to crack the ice by having a bit of a joke about being glad she isn’t actually a 40 year old man. Also, you can be the gentleman by making sure she is feeling at ease about everything before you do anything. Remind her that she is free to leave if she feels at all uncomfortable.
I’m quite surprised she is going for the overnight option on what is essentially your first date in each others company, so I’d assume she is feeling fine with it.
When I met my other half (who I have been with for almost 6 years now) he was the nervous one and i still make fun of him to this day for mumbling his way through an entire evening out of pure nerves. Aww.
Make sure you have a full itinary of things to do so you do get caught in too many awkward silences… it’s a long time to spend together for the occasion.
And for the love of gawd, do NOT expect to be climbing into the sack with her, offer to sleep in a separate bed or on the floor and let her decide what she wants. Even in the same bed, assume that nothing will happen so you don’t come across like a sex pest or like you think she is easy.
To be perfectly honest, I think she will be up for it as it’s an unusual step to go straight to an overnight date…. don’t mean to be rude, maybe she just really likes and trusts you.
I think I am younger than you, but I met up with a guy I met online once. We had chatted on the phone but mainly on msn like you.
When I met him, I was very nervous. I met him in a public place (a shopping center) and just went shopping and to the cinema! I couldn’t think of much to say though! And kept on repeating things, it was a diaster really!
I advise you to let one of your friends or family know that you are meeting up with this person just incase. I told my family and they actually came with me, made sure I was with him then went away.
Just think of anything to say really! Start random conversations if you get stuck!
As for sharing the room situation, ask her if that is ok first. Otherwise just book another room. Simple.
Hope all goes well! Good luck xxxxxx
I would suggest your first date not going to a hotel at all. You should stay in public as you still dont really know her even though you have spoken online/msn.
Very public place
Unlike people you know, she won’t have any clue what your personality is really like, if you go along confident and charming then she won’t ever of known that you were usually shy!..
Don’t over do the confidence, a little vunerability is kinda cute!
Just be yourself if it doesn’t work out, wasn’t meant to be.
Good luck!
Enjoy yourself!!
I met the love of my life on the internet. That said, however, I went on 5 other dates before I met him. I had fun on all of them and am still friends with one of those 5. None of them were scarey freaks like some people will tell you people who do internet dating are. They were all nice, genuine people looking for fun and perhaps more – as was I. The first time I went on one of those dates I was really nervous, but I just decided to be myself and if he didn’t like me then that was his tough luck (and I knew there were loads more people on the net if it didn’t work out lol). We had a great night and went on a few more dates, but it wasn’t to last. When I met the guy I’m with now we met in a pub and 10 minutes into the date some guy came in and gave us cheap tickets to a concert that was on near by (he’d been stood up! – lucky for us) so we went to that and then a few more drinks and chatted for hours – it was just really easy, nice and relaxing.
I have one friend who has been on about 30 dates from the net!! She has yet to meet her prince, but I know she wouldn’t class any of them as weird. Some of her dates have been for drinks, some for walks on the beach and one or two have been like the one you’re going on. She had fun. If you’ve been chatting to this girl online and on the phone you already have an idea of her personality and your instincts will give you an idea as to whether or not you’ll get on.
Someone else I know (a guy) has also gone on a few dates – beforehand he was like you – very shy with women and not a whole lot of experience. His confidence has grown a huge amount and he has also enjoyed the experience.
Good luck on your date and have fun!! I’m sure it will be great.
Just be yourself. Just remember all you can about your chats and focus on her. Not to much though. Try not to do anything out of the ordinary for yourself and you should be ok. You already scored points just by her agreeing to go to London to meet you. Don’t assume the worst, but be prepared. Also, you can’t be let down if you don’t expect the world. So just stay within yourself and everything else will work itself out.
always meet in a public place .dont give to much info
I think the hotel thing, sharing one bed, is a bit too much too soon, and may turn out to be a total disaster, as you’re both really strangers still and expecting a close intimate relationship on the first date, is way too obvious.
By all means stay at the hotel, but separate bedrooms..and leave the back-up plan at home ! be a gentleman, she’ll appreciate this far more..
As regards your personality, you obviously have been in contact for some time, so just say and act as though you’re still both on the media sites.. don’t be what you’re not, and recognise that she will be nervous too, and possibly shy, so take it slow.. and don’t expect an instant ‘rapour’..it’s quite different person to person.
Other than this you’ll be fine, just see how it goes, add no ‘pressure’ for a second date.. if she wants too, and you do too, this will be arranged naturally.
Enjoy, good luck and have fun.. lots of it
a friend x
Hi,
I was just wondering how it all went?
I have planned to meet a guy, that I met online. I am so nervous, he saw pictures of me already but I’m really worried that he won’t like me or he’ll be disappointed. I’m usually very chatty and outgoing when meeting new people but it is different when its a date and when you never met before. I’m so scared and could do with some advice! I kept trying to put it off but i finally agreed on a day and we’re going to the cinema..
thanks for listening,
louise
xx