Anyway. She’s happy. You can be too.

But I think there’s something bigger going on here that “double standards.”

I am thinnish. Hell, I jog and try to go 4 miles on foot three or four times a week. However, I’ve been single for 5 years. I cry myself to sleep often. I believe no one wants me. You see… I got used. Badly. I was beaten. I was yelled at, daily. I wasn’t allowed to read or do anything or talk or leave the house unless it was to make money. I had to pay his bills and mine. I couldn’t live with him but I couldn’t leave either. This went on for two years…

When I got away I was badly damaged and if I got involved with someone and talked about my past they called me “crazy” and made fun of me on their way out of my life. Eventually I found someone nice and found out he was still having sex with a wife I didn’t know about…

I could probably still get a boyfriend. However, I’ve become shallow. I’ve decided that every man is going to shit on me so I only want a really hot sophistocated one because, then, I can look back and say “Well, at least he was better than me. No wonder he left.” Instead of “this middle aged, cracked out, broke ass SLOB didn’t appreciate my sweet, submissive, 21 year old, generous ass??? WTF?!!!”

I’m guessing that you’ve had experiences that made you lose your ability to be loving, accepting, understanding and… Usable… And no selfish man will keep a woman that doesn’t serve her sacrificial purpose.

You’re not alone because you’re ugly. You’re alone because men are ugly. You’re alone because it beats the alternitive and if you give yourself a little credit, you’ll realize that you’re alone because you chose to be. Because you love yourself too much to let someone destroy you again.

Soo, BBW hotty bad ass bitch… Fuck ‘em.

Love ya!

Ghandi said “Be the change you seek” or something like that. If you don’t like yourself – others wont either – and the ones that do you wouldn’t want to be associated with (not that it is the right way to think but that is how self-loathing works)

In other words, ““I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.” —Groucho Marx

You set your self up for a lose-lose situation. You will never win – even if you do get the guy you want.

You have to be the person who wants to be with you – and then they will come running.

Lose weight if you want to lose weight. But I know some hefty women out there that don’t seem to have a problem finding a man. BUT how you look at those “hefty men” is how you look at yourself – and if you are going to reject those men (who you haven’t yet met) it shows the world that you reject yourself. And I don’t think anyone finds that attractive.

Online dating is fine – (sorry to correct you BRAD-whose never looked online for a date and doesn’t know ANYTHING ABOUT IT) and I think it is becoming the norm (in some major cities anyway) and, yes, there are tons of people who misrepresent themselves-yet not as many as BRAD and others might think. But if you have a brain in your head (which I know you do) you can weed them out.

AND chemistry is EVERYTHING. You don’t know anything until you meet someone. I went out with the poster child for tall, dark, and handsome and there was nothing. We talked for hours and nothing. He was just not for me. But I would not have known that unless I met him. So READ the profiles of the hefty men you don’t want to date and you might be surprised that there are some real people behind those profiles. You might want to Give them a shot – DON”T BE UNSAFE —follow your gut— but maybe give the nice guy a shot (in a public place with an exit plan.)

You are young—you will find your way, just don’t give up on yourself.