I met a nice man in mid July. I found him on the dating site Plenty of Fish. We been dating since we met. I see him approximately every 1-2 weeks. He tells me he likes me a lot. He used to call me 2-3 times daily. Now, he calls me 2-3 times per week. I also like him a lot. He is the silent type, doesn’t say much about himself. I found out he kept his Plenty of Fish account active. I also know that he checks that account regularly. I wonder why he still has an active account on a dating site. I don’t want to be naive and stupid as it is clearly a sign that I am not the ONE. That hurts me quite a bit. I am also out of touch with dating in 2009. For those of you with experience with online dating web site, I would like to get your opinion. What do you think is going on?
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Plenty Of Fish.why Do People Keep Their Account Open When They Date Someone?11 comments to Plenty Of Fish.why Do People Keep Their Account Open When They Date Someone? |
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I also use Plenty of Fish. I’ve met several men on there with a few resulting in relationships. I’m currently in a relationship with someone I met on that site. I closed my account, mainly because if he and I break up, I’ll be taking a break from dating for a while. My boyfriend’s account is still open. In my opinion, I’ve had the most success from Plenty of Fish.
Here’s the thing, he said that you are a dear FRIEND. This means that you two are friends, and that is probably why his account is still active. It sounds like that’s all he sees you as. I think if here was really interested in you, he would probably make an effort in spending time with you. Maybe you need to tell him that you want to spend more time with him. Also, if he is calling you less frequently, that may his way of saying “I want to be friends and not be exclusive.” I could be wrong though. If you don’t want to get hurt, maybe you should ask him exactly what he wants…:)
Obviously he is keeping his options open in case he finds something better or the two of you don’t work out. Problem is, you don’t know what’s going to come first.
If you are serious about continuing a relationship with him, let him know how it makes you feel and ask him to suspend his account. If he feels the same way, he’ll do it.
Yeah it sounds like he’s still looking or keeping his options open, especially if you guys only see each other every couple of weeks and talk less often. He might think the connection between you two is fading or maybe he expected to see you more often.
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It’s not uncommon to be dating more than one person at a time in the real world. I think you’re looking into it too much. People have to keep their options open.
Sounds like he is playing the field.
At least you met someone. I’m pitiful at online dating. Been doing it for eight months and outside of the Nigerians trying to get my credit card on the Yahoo personals, I only met one person who would communicate back to me on eharmony, zero at Christian mingle, and adventure dating is also a goose egg zero.
The girl at eHarmony quit writing after a week. Said she wanted a cuter guy. She even put it up on her Myspace and face book accounts.
As far as this guy goes, he probably kept the account open just to see if anyone else is interested in him and is more alike. Let him know you know about the account and talk to him. Try to see if you guys have anything else in common. Maybe that will make him turn his attention back to you.
Someone who says they like/care for you, but creates the type of distance you’re talking about, and keeps the relationship from progressing, is most likely a commitment phobic or wants to keep dating other people even though he cares about you. Anyone who’s experienced a relationship with a commitment phobic man knows that they will do anything they can to keep a relationship from moving forward. The best thing you can do is continue to date other people also, look out for YOURSELF, and do not limit yourself to this one man, or wait for him to change. By focusing only on him you are keeping yourself from finding someone who is authentic enough to love you in return. Don’t hang on to the positive things this man may say, and fail to see the other signs that he is unwilling to be part of something genuine with you. It hurts, as anyone who’s been through this can tell you – and I’ve been through it twice – it’s devastating and you can’t help but think it’s something about YOU that is unlovable – that keeps this man from committing on ANY level. Read whatever you can get your hands on that deals with relationship behaviors, educate yourself and remain strong in who you are, and what you want and DESERVE in a healthy relationship.
I went through the same situation. The best way to handle it is to not mention it, you should go on the site yourself. Allow him to bring it up, if at all. Stope being so available. Don’t answer when EVERYTIME he calls. Make him wonder where you are, who your talking to, what your doing. Give yourself your place, because you deserve it. Allow him to come to you, to pursue you, because thats how it should be. A man has to think about you to fall in love with you. I promise he will.. After he starts calling, and i promise you he will, talk to him happy and casually, “Oh heyy wats up dear? How you been” not a care in the world. He’ll wonder why u dont care. He’ll chase you even more. And if u need more help look up mimi tanner, hard to get. Shes got all the right answers. Good luck lemme know how it goes : )
i have had this happen quite a few times, and the ones that do this are not into a serious relationship even though they state clearly they are, i feel obviously they are keeping their options open yet on the other hand when i have asked why they still on the site they do say that they have made some good friends over the period of time they have been on there, he could also be questioning why you still go on there.x and thinking your not serious so therefore keeps options open.x
I also met a man on POF 2years ago. we are still together and talk alot about our future together. The thing is he is still on POF. he says he keeps in touch with friends he made on the site. So I made a fake profile and voila! he responded! The SOB! we send messages back and forht and chat. He tells a bunch of lies to this other girl which is really me. The same lines he used to catch me he is using on her(me). is this cheating? He said he would come off if it bothers me. He is very loving and whenever we have a fight he always makes up with me. What is going on here? is he looking for someone better? keeping his options open? Or just playing?