Hello, I am from Peru. my English is pretty basic. Just joined an online dating and need to write my bio, and market myself lol! Some of the sites mentioned that potential matches only read profiles within the first 5 seconds, if the profile is not eye-catching they pass!
please help! this is what i need to say:
I am from Peru, raised in Argentina and Italy. former ballerina. I am 5’6 , body is athletic, i have bright hazel eyes long dark blonde hair and su-kissed skin. I am very friendly, pasionate, affectionate can be sily at times.
livingin many countries i am very open and have different views about life, my personality is very flexible for this reason. I raised in a very affluent family that allowed me to travel extensively thougout europe, south america, central america, i have traveled to almost all the states in the US.
I went to private shools, i learnt etiquete classes, languages, arts inlcuiding music and ballet lessons. grew up attending cultural events, opera, ballet, art galleries etcs
i completely my BA from a very well acredited educational institution in Buenos Aires and currently pursuing another degree.
My hobbies include travling, sports, i practice yoga and swimming,reading, scoba diving, sailing, cooking, among others.
|
||
Professional Writers Help?1 comment to Professional Writers Help? |
 |
|
|
Copyright © 2012 Online Dating Blog - All Rights Reserved |
||
Okay well I am no expert at this but I can show you some grammatical errors as well as bring up some things I learned from “The millionaire matchmaker” lol
Errors to fix:
“su-kissed skin.” “pasionate,” “can be sily” “livingin”
You write with non-capitalized “i ” a couple times.
“i learnt etiquete classes, languages, arts inlcuiding ”
“lessons. grew up” Capitalize properly… it makes you look intelligent.
“travling, ”
“scoba diving, ”
I think that your strong points are that you’re open-minded and knowledgeable. The weak point in the profile is that it comes off a little like “Look how cultured and amazing I am,” and that can be intimidating. I think you should pick personality points and let the hobbies be cool surprises for your date. You can have something to talk about when you first meet.