I’m 19 years old. I just came out a month or so ago, to select persons. I didn’t know anyone who was gay, and had never ever told anyone prior or acted on it. I met a guy my age online, and we talk sometimes. I know I don’t “know” him, but I think he is attractive and seems to be genuine. He doesn’t give me a bunch of BS, like most other guys do. I like that he doesn’t start of conversations with “Do you have a webcam”, “wanna hook up”, or “I think I might love you”, like all the other creepers do.
Another problem, my family is deeply religious. If I’m caught, I will lose everything. My family and friends are all in my church (thats all we’re allowed). All I would have in the world would be the clothes on my back, a cell phone w/ service cut off within 24 hours, and keys to a house with changed locks.
I’m afraid I’m being naive, and possibly setting myself up for a big fall. It’s just that I long for a relationship, soooo badly. What would you do?
Thank You.
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Should I Date? (gay Guys Only, Thank You)?8 comments to Should I Date? (gay Guys Only, Thank You)? |
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Ultimately, nobody can answer this question except you. But I can give you some advice. Take it or leave it.
One, are you willing to risk your family, friends, and the basic necessities of life (shelter, food)? You are 19, still very young. Are you ready to be self-sufficient? Do you have a very stable support network (obviously not from your family, but from these “select persons” you came out to)? Will you be able to survive if you are literally disowned by your family? These are the most important questions you must ask yourself. Seriously think about the answers.
Secondly, are you willing to risk it all for a guy you met online? I know of quite a few online relationships that were successful — ending in long-term relationships, marriages, etc. But you have to be EXTREMELY careful. Is this a person you can trust? Can you ever know that for sure? I am always extremely skeptical when people meet others over the internet (not that there is anything wrong with it)…you have to remember that you only know what the person on the other side of the wire wishes to tell you.
Thirdly, can you wait? Don’t get desperate. Love will find you and we will all find our way. Be aware of the risks and consequences of them. Don’t jump inot anything too quickly. If you do decid to meet this person, bring a friend who you can trust (at least for the first few meetings). This is important…don’t go alone.
You should think this over. Don’t rush into a decision. Good luck!
I feel ya I want to find someone so bad. i am bi but really picky with girls and with guys I seem to fall for the straight ones i really want someone i can talk to and cuddle with or something. I would say yes, but you have a lot riding on someone you don’t even know and chances are once you get into college you will find someone you are sure of.
You’re parents religion is not you’re own and you must remember that. I was a mormon. Are you able to lean on these selected persons that you came out to? As the previous person said, you have so much to think about. You are 19, take some time to seriously think it over and most importantly, do it for yourself, not for this man.
Since your folks aren’t rich enough to make it worth your while to wait around for them to die, get the hell out. Believe me, there are worse things than being “on your own, with no direction home” when you’re nineteen. And, by all means, go to your nearest state college, apply for federal student loans, and get yourself an education. Nothing in life means or is worth a damned thing without an education.
If your family and friends would shun you over that, then they’re the ones with the problem.
If you’re 19, I’m guessing you work. If I wanted a relationship that bad, and wouldn’t be allowed to live at home (by force or choice), I’d move out.
Im not understanding what you are asking.
you need to move away and live on your own or with a roommate, that’s what i think would be the best for you
You’re nineteen and old enough to make your own decisions. I would encourage you to contact a college of your choice, speak with one of the counselors about the variety of subjects you can study (ask for a Career Planning Profile…it’s a great way to find out your ‘strengths’ and your ‘preferred’ job types)…also ask the counselor about grants that would give you money to live on and go to college. If you don’t want to go to college, then how about a trade school…there’s also financing available there too. If you don’t want to go to any kind of school, life will be much more difficult for you, but it is possible. Whether you’re out of school or not, get a job, save some money and then get your own place. Once you’re on your own and self sufficient, it doesn’t matter what others think. You have the right to be who and what you are without threats or fear entering into it. I’m sorry if your family chooses to distance itself from you…it’s ‘their’ loss, not yours.