Online Dating Blog

I dont usually asl questions online cause you never gonna know what answeres you get but i’m praying to god to give some answeres and maybe one of you will be his way of answering me.
I have know a guy for two years now and well we’ve been dating for almost 9 months and I thought i was happy, but about 8 months through it when he came to visit me over spring break (he lives in michigan and i live in kentucky) we did somethings that i totally regret. It wasnt godly at all, we both let our hormones take over and fell into temptation. he hasnt been going to church since i moved here about 6 months ago and he dosent seem to have a great relationship with christ, it seems like he dosent understand y i think what we did was wrong and he dosent seem to understand that i have a calling in the missions field in africa, i’m gonna become a nurse and go over there to teach others about god. anyways… he wants to marry me now and i’ve been praying about it and i told god i would say yes if that was his will but if not to show me a way out bring someone into my life that was on fire for him that would support me in my faith and hold me accountable as a christian and thats when i met zack. i actually met zack the next day after praying that. i was attending a new school and randomly enough zack walked up to me to say hi to be friendly cause i didnt know anybody and thats when we clicked. our friendship grew from there. Hes on fire for christ and wants to do gods will. He wants to get a missions degree and be able to teach christain classes. He believes in keeping god as the center of realtionships and of his life. Now he understands that nones perfet adn we all fall away from god but he knows when hes made a mistake and asks gods for forgivness. Thats one of the things hes good at is forgiving. anyways… Zack left for basic training in fort jackson south carolina sunday adn is going to play his drums in the army and has ait from agust to september or october (i think)… We have been talking and I relized i’m in love with zack and he told me before he left that he loves me and wants to be with me. Where the feeling i have for him started and when i dont know but all i do know is that i want to be with him, but i also want to be with john. My flesh and my mind are fighting against my spirit and heart and i’m stuck right in the middle of it. I dont want to lose john as a friend or keep him from coming to christ cause he says that god takes everything he ever had or wanted away from him, god took his dad and now he says gods taking me, but i know that zack would be better for me cauase well hes a strong christain and is going into the missions field where we can come together and teach people about christ togethre we can support each other and hold each other accountable in our walk with christ… but i am totally confused. I was asked how i can know for certain that god really wants me with zack and not with john and that the question thats been sticking in my head and i’ve been praying and thats what lead me to writting you. I’m looking for an answer and i’m praying god will speak to me through one of your answers, so please pray about it before you write back and let me know what you think i should do. thanks you soo very much. may god bless you all…