Online Dating Blog

Hey, got a little issue on my mind right now…
OK, I met this girl at college nearly 5 years ago now. We only really got to know eachother about 3 and a half years ago, and we bonded really quickly and became close friends.
She had a boyfriend at the time and I make a stupid mistake in telling her a liked her…surprise surprise she told me we couldn’t be more than friends. A few days later she sent me a text asking if I was alright and that she had thought about me like that before but she was with her boyfriend. So, unless she was being diplomatic it suggested that if she was single I would have a chance. With that in mind I again tried a few months later when she became single. Rejection again. I never asked why. She then started dating my friend for a year and a half (having been together previously as well).
Looking back now she was very flirty with me, lots of obvious stuff like holding my hand etc – I probably let myself get sucked in without thinking. Since then we were still solid friends but something did feel different…probably because I felt different.
Anyway, last summer we fell out over something silly and didn’t speak for like 5 months until I eventually sent her a message online. We forgot what had happened and said we’d be friends again.
Eventually I got to see her again (she has a new friendship group now which has done her the world of good, naturally it would take a while to regain some trust I guess). I quickly began noticing stuff that was more subtle than before, caught her looking at me a few times, stuff like that. Began to wonder if the time spent apart may have taken the friendship back a step to something less important and now any feelings would be more “acceptable” as it were.
One evening I called her after work to see if she fancied going for a drink, and she said she was out with her workmates but I could join them. I arrived to find her and a bunch of girls – I couldn’t help but wonder why she asked me to come, was she introducing me to her friends, I wasn’t sure. That night I went back to her house (she was on her own, flatmates hadn’t moved in yet) and hung out, helped sort her room out. She made a bed for me right next to hers, rather than put me in a room elsewhere in the house. The next day we spent all day hanging out. Was a great 24 hours for me naturally.
She clearly keeps her distance when in a group, paying a lot of attention to her other guy friends while barely talking to me at all.
But…I know she is kind of flirty, I don’t know whether she has had guys back in her room before etc…she could be treating me like she treats her other guy friends.
Also, she seems to openly talk about other guys to me…stuff like “if he was single and a christian…”. Making me jealous or dropping hints that she wants no more than friendship? She got drunk one night and kissed some guy from work, who she had previously and since said she only likes when drunk and wouldn’t consider dating him. Trying to cause jealousy or a clear hint that nothing can happen with us?
I have helped support her lately, she got in a car accident and her car got written off. I helped her with some stuff, like empting her car of her belongings, sometimes asked to help other times offered my help.
Sorry for the essay, but I really do love her and have not come across anyone over this time that compares to her at all. I tried to not like her, when we fell out I tried to hate her, but it always came back to me loving her in the end. I know from my side she is the one because I have made it through some sticky patches with my feelings intact. I am just very aware of the previous failed attempts (although they were pathetic attempts), and am scared that a 3rd attempt even years later may kill off the friendship for good. Do I go for it again and not worry about what may happen and just deal with it should I come to that bridge?
Thanks