6 months ago, my mother discovered that I’m a lesbian, and that I’m dating my best friend. When she found that out, she decided that we were going to move far away to a whole different state and that I wouldn’t talk to my friend ever again, much less hangout with her. She became angry, upset, and depressed. It was constant crying, yelling, and lecturing. Such as, “You must change, and be normal. Gays don’t have a worthwhile life. What will everybody say? ect.”
There has also been times when she wanted to hit me, but she pulls back and squeezes my arms tightly, and pushes me away. The thing is, that it’s been 6 months, and even though things have cooled down, she still has her breakdowns everytime I get online to chat with my friends, or when I don’t do my chores immediately. She just assumes that I still talk to my girlfriend, (even though she is right about that) I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve suggested therapy, and she tells me to stop making fun of her. Just last night, I told her, “Mom I’m stupid, I don’t know what to do or say.” and she says, “did you just call me stupid?” I’ll talk to her, try to chill her down, but whenever I say anything negative, that’s the first thing she’ll perk her head up to. Many people have said that I should stand up for myself, and let her accept, but that doesn’t work. For her, this is very real. She cries so hard, that I don’t even want to hug her. Her whole body shakes, she bites so hard that I can hear her teeth grinding. She makes fists with her little hands, and when she looks at me, she marks an X on her heart. She claims that she’s been dieing, and that she’s going to die if I don’t stop being a lesbian.She blames me for everything, and even though my father’s on my side, he’s starting to look at me like it’s my fault as well. I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep, but just the same, I don’t want my mom to die. I’m not old enough to leave the house, and I don’t want to leave my girlfriend. I just don’t know what to do. Maybe I should pretend to be someone else to my mom, like the perfect little girl, yet that doesn’t seem fair to me. I just don’t want to lose the three people who mean the most to me, my girlfriend, my mom, and my dad.
