I’ve met a guy I’ve met through an online dating site and have moved in to his city a few months after we’ve begun talking VIA instant messaging. Hes a very sweet guy and I like him very much. We’ve made out and got intimate a few times. We hold hands in the car while we listen to music and hes open to displays of affection in private. However when we are in public, in front of his parents, or friends, he would only introduce me as a friend and would deflect my attempts to hold his hand. His friend is coming to town this week and he invited me to hang out with them, but I feel as if I do I’ll just be introduced only as his ‘friend’ which makes me feel a little hurt. Besides, I think it’ll be good for him to hang out with his budds cause hes been working so hard. I just know what to interpret from it and if I should continue with this relationship or take it serious if this is how it might be in the long term. I don’t want to force him out, its his choice. Feedback appreciated!
My husband and I have been married for 3 and a half years, together for 6 we started out as very good friends 11 years ago. There is a pretty incredible history. Now here is what I am faced with now. After all that time of knowing this person I come to find out that I didn’t know him at all because he lied to me constantly or left things out. Lie number one 9 months after we were married and I was pregnant with out first child, he tells me that he had slept with his brother’s ex-girlfriend within a week of them breaking up (his brother is his best friend) We were broken up at the time that this happened. I too had slept with someone else during this time and before we even got back together I told him about it because I felt as if we might get back together and I am very honest about things like that. Well after we got back together he started questioning me constantly about that sexual relationship like “how could you sleep with someone you barely knew?” “I just don’t understand how you could just sleep with someone like that?” now I take that with heavy implications that I am somewhat of a slut or something. So I go on feeling pretty guilty about it for a few months till he stops asking about it and commenting about it, all the while he did the same thing but he also betrayed the only person in his life that meant anything to him (his brother). Then we get married after having ample time for him to disclose all of this he finally tells me. I am pissed and felt trapped because I was pregnant at the time and while I wanted to leave him I also felt that with a child coming it changed the way I would have handled it if i had been single. Lie number 2 when we first got back together he told me about how he went through all of his stuff and threw out anything that conflicted with his christian beliefs which consisted of posters, pot smoking, porn, he quit smoking etc. I was thrilled because alot of that stuff is stuff we fought about when we dated before. A month after we got married he went out and bought all kinds of porn to have around the house. It bothered me but he didn’t watch it that much so I didn’t really care. Then I find out he is watching it all the time and lying about it. Lie number 3 he starts having this online emotional affair with an ex-girlfriend. I confronted it he ended it. So you can see the trust is degraded not completely gone at this point but definitely lowered. Then about a year later he is watching a rediculous amount of porn and really bad in nature (not child porn, but pretty disturbing). I don’t say anything (my fault) I just withdrawl from him more.Then I guess this is kind of lie number 4 although he didn’t really deny it he was just hiding it. He was sexting an ex-girlfriend and IMing while I was in bed crying because we just had a fight. I confronted it two days later and packed up my son and myself and left. 3 days later I find out I’m pregnant. He calls me crying saying he doesn’t know what is wrong with him that he loves us and we are the only thing that matter to him and he will do anything to make it right. So I come back we enter counselling. He says he is a sex addict that was the reason for his online/phone sex thing. So I told him he needed to get help then. So he did counselling for a few weeks then got a second job (we did need the money) then stopped counselling because he didn’t have time. Now he is back in counselling because I served him with an ultimatum. He told me the other day that if I knew the things he thought of all the time I never would have married him. He said he thinks about sex all the time now I know as a society we stereotype men as only thinking about sex all the time but this is literally all the time. He says just seeing people he thinks of them in a sexual way. He says he struggles with it all the time but he is trying to change his thought process.
I about 75% want out of this marriage, but a small part of me believes he does want to change and that he can. However, I’m pretty pissed off that I made a decision without having all the information first, but believed I had all the information. It wasn’t like we got married and then I was like “surprise!! I have an addiction, and I screwed your bestfriend but we’re married now and there is nothing you can do about it.” You know (I didn’t do any of that by the way, just making a point). However, our counselor of course is trying to “keep us together” She keeps saying this is an addiction it has nothing to do with you.And other stuff. How am I supposed to believe anything from him when everything that would have impacted my decision on marrying him was a lie?
There is a girl/young woman who goes to my church back home. Mind you, she is 6 years older than me (she’s 24 and I’m 18). I randomly started talking to her online one day and we both thought the other person was really cool. So we talked more and more, and eventually when summer came, we said hey, let’s hang out. So we hung out whenever she wasn’t working. I started thinking to myself, man, I wish she was my age, because she’s a really cool girl.
One day though, after going to the pool with her, we came back to her parent’s house, and things led to sex. So, I lost my virginity to her. She had told me online before when we were discussing our problems, that once she got to college she started making mistakes sexually. So.. i felt bad for just adding on to her list of mistakes. I felt horrible for having sex too though.
Anywayy.. after sex, as would be expected, I fell for her. HARD. I started considering her as a girlfriend, and wanted to date her pretty badly. Only one problem. I knew she was 6 years older than me, and plus, she goes to a different college than me.
I talked to a really cool pastor here in my college town and he told me that sex ties an invisible string around two people’s hearts, and that the connection I share with Lillian (the girl’s name, she has a gorgeous name too) is an unhealthy one. He suggested that we take a season off from each other. Not communicating, and getting our hearts in the right place and our minds cleared.
See, I completely agree with him, and I want to do this, but it’s almost impossible for me to. He’s right it is an unhealthy connection. My heart tells me that I love her, but my mind says I’m retarded. She goes to clubs, wears clothes that can sexually attract guys, and is very pretty which then leads to her getting hit on by a lot of guys. It’s not something I usually look for in a girl, and some of it is a turn off.
She’s Christian and wants to do things that are right, but she is kind of naive, and it hurts me. Because she’s naive, and I care for her, it really hurts me that I can’t be with her to watch out for her, and protect her from things she may not see. It seems like she has trouble seeing the wrong in what is around her. idk. She’s naive, and it makes me care for her even when I try not to.
What the heck do I do? I’m sitting here hurting day after day. I hung out with her all day this past labor day weekend, we both came home from college to visit. We kissed, hugged each other, and I cried, she teared up a little, but I think it’s because I was crying. She told me a while ago me that she wishes she had a guy like me, and that she would wait even longer than she has been waiting for someone like me. She’s a sweet, caring, lovely girl, who has an innocent heart, she really does. But she’s just not so aware of the things she’s doing. I wish I could not like her or stop thinking about her, but I absolutely, positively can’t.
It’s gotten to the point that when I try to hang out with girls in college, I feel uncomfortable, because I feel that I’m somewhat committed to Lillian? wtf, right?
Another thing, she’s about to graduate, and head off into the world and find a job. She wants to maybe move to LA and find a job. I don’t know.. there are just so many things that should convince me to move on.. but I just can’t. I mean.. seriously.. nothing will work out, right? She used to call me almost every night and I loved hearing her voice, but we’re trying this no communication thing out and it’s killing me, and it isn’t working.
Please help me.. I have a really soft heart and have no clue what to do.
There is a girl/young woman who goes to my church back home. Mind you, she is 6 years older than me (she’s 24 and I’m 18). I randomly started talking to her online one day and we both thought the other person was really cool. So we talked more and more, and eventually when summer came, we said hey, let’s hang out. So we hung out whenever she wasn’t working. I started thinking to myself, man, I wish she was my age, because she’s a really cool girl.
One day though, after going to the pool with her, we came back to her parent’s house, and things led to sex. So, I lost my virginity to her. She had told me online before when we were discussing our problems, that once she got to college she started making mistakes sexually. So.. i felt bad for just adding on to her list of mistakes. I felt horrible for having sex too though.
Anywayy.. after sex, as would be expected, I fell for her. HARD. I started considering her as a girlfriend, and wanted to date her pretty badly. Only one problem. I knew she was 6 years older than me, and plus, she goes to a different college than me.
I talked to a really cool pastor here in my college town and he told me that sex ties an invisible string around two people’s hearts, and that the connection I share with Lillian (the girl’s name, she has a gorgeous name too) is an unhealthy one. He suggested that we take a season off from each other. Not communicating, and getting our hearts in the right place and our minds cleared.
See, I completely agree with him, and I want to do this, but it’s almost impossible for me to. He’s right it is an unhealthy connection. My heart tells me that I love her, but my mind says I’m retarded. She goes to clubs, wears clothes that can sexually attract guys, and is very pretty which then leads to her getting hit on by a lot of guys. It’s not something I usually look for in a girl, and some of it is a turn off.
She’s Christian and wants to do things that are right, but she is kind of naive, and it hurts me. Because she’s naive, and I care for her, it really hurts me that I can’t be with her to watch out for her, and protect her from things she may not see. It seems like she has trouble seeing the wrong in what is around her. idk. She’s naive, and it makes me care for her even when I try not to.
What the heck do I do? I’m sitting here hurting day after day. I hung out with her all day this past labor day weekend, we both came home from college to visit. We kissed, hugged each other, and I cried, she teared up a little, but I think it’s because I was crying. She told me a while ago me that she wishes she had a guy like me, and that she would wait even longer than she has been waiting for someone like me. She’s a sweet, caring, lovely girl, who has an innocent heart, she really does. But she’s just not so aware of the things she’s doing. I wish I could not like her or stop thinking about her, but I absolutely, positively can’t.
It’s gotten to the point that when I try to hang out with girls in college, I feel uncomfortable, because I feel that I’m somewhat committed to Lillian? wtf, right?
Another thing, she’s about to graduate, and head off into the world and find a job. She wants to maybe move to LA and find a job. I don’t know.. there are just so many things that should convince me to move on.. but I just can’t. I mean.. seriously.. nothing will work out, right? She used to call me almost every night and I loved hearing her voice, but we’re trying this no communication thing out and it’s killing me, and it isn’t working.
Please help me.. I have a really soft heart and have no clue what to do.
Hiya. Um, bit of a long story.
Basically, I met this guy online back in about…March 2008? He owns this forum and we didn’t talk very much until it was his birthday in June, I made him a youtube vid just saying “Happy birthday =D” and stuff, I didn’t really think anything of it until he commented on it and said that I looked nice and thankyou very much. I don’t know what happened but I suddenly found myself blushing like mad. As the days went on, I became more and more attached to him, I don’t know how it happened, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him and suddenly found myself falling in love. I *knew* it was love as I hadn’t felt as strong as this about my previous relationships. I asked him if he would like to meet up at the end of July and he came down here for the day. He lives in London and I live in Peterborough. The train Journey isn’t too bad, it’s just that it costs alot. I’m having my driving test soon so hopefully I can pass that and it would cut down on having to use public transport.
Anyway…When he came down, we just clicked, everything was PERFECT. His kisses were the best and he had such nice hugs. We had a chat about whether to move into a relationship but he sad “I’d love to ask you out but I’m not sure…” He’d previously been in a LDR with a girl who lives in America, they never met but it ended with a bit of a bang because of the distance. I feel that from what he has told me about his previous LDRs has knocked his confidence in them. I have had quite a lot of LDRs myself, except for my last one. I tend to feel quite comfortable with LDRs because it’s really exciting going to see someone after a time.
Anyway, he also wanted to keep what we had secret online. He didn’t want his ex to find out who is also on the forum we talk on, he thought that it would hurt her so I was like “Fair enough” even though it hurt me so much. But, I was happy that I could still act like a couple with him, even if it was secret.
However, this weekend, I went to a convention in London to meet up with him for the second time, and I met with some forum friends aswell. It was really good and I was allowed to stay at his house over night and travel back home on sunday.
When we were at his, we began acting like a couple again and were kissing but then he paused to say something like “I’m not sure whether to go any further” and I replied “Whatever you want, I want”. He said he would like to stop and I accepted that (he is a Christian, so, his thoughts on intimacy are slightly different to mine). But then we went into a very detailed and in-depth discussion about us. We started talking about school and what comes after that. We have this year left at school and then he goes off to University, I am not going myself. He said after Uni he has another course in order to get the career he wants. He also said “apparently you find the one at University”. And I have to admit, when Uni comes into the picture, most LDRs break apart, it happened to my brother.
Anyway, he said he wasn’t sure about us dating because he will be in education for so long and it would take a while for us to be able to move to the same location together. He went on to explain I was worth everything and I was too good for him but because of Uni and the distance, we should move on. That included stopping the kissing and intimacy when together and also how we act online together. This broke my heart, I was fine hanging onto what we had even though it was secret…he said that we were neither commited nor non commited which I agreed with, but I don’t want to look for anyone else, I want to wait for him…am I sounding too desperate? I truely would do *ANYTHING* to have him. I even went to Church with him and his family in the morning. It actually taught me a good lesson, but I won’t go into that.
I need some advice, please can you help me? It’s tearing me apart. It all feels like a bad dream. When I’m with him, I just feel so happy, we get on so well like we’ve known each other 5 years even though we’ve met twice.
Thanks,
Kat xox
OK so I met a guy from a Christian dating site back in September. We are both looking for the same thing. A serious relationship leading to marriage. We spoke every day until we met on January 4-7. I went to see him where he lives. He paid for my ticket and everything. While I was there we discussed marriage, and everything. Since I came back he has called me every day, and texts me during the day as well. We had planned on me going to see him on February 15-18 and were going to be buying my ticket today. (well he was paying). Anyhow he is an aircraft mechanic and for the past week he has been away on work. He has called me every day even though he has been in Mexico and Florida. Yesterday he called me at work and was being very sweet, but said that he had a little bad news for me, but also good news. He has been trying to get on with a larger company and finally got an interview with one. He has to fly somewhere for that, and would not have enough right now to pay for my ticket and the ticket he has to buy to go and his hotel etc. He asked if we could postpone for a few weeks. I was a little disappointed, however tried to not let him know as I am happy about the possible new job. He said that he is excited because if he gets the job then he would have his flights paid for and he could come here and see me more often.
He was also talking about marriage and stuff, and things to do with the future. He then had to go as he was boarding his flight to fly home. He said he would call me as soon as he landed to let me know he was home. He said, since he is my future husband he wants to let me know that he is safe etc. and where he is all the time.
I knew when his flight got in (and confirmed online), and he never called me. I waited a while (an hour and a half) after his flight got in and tried to call him. First the phone rang and rang and went to voice mail. So I left a message and waited a while longer. He also has a work cell, so about 45 mins later I called that and it was turned off. (it never is), and then I re-tried his personal cell, and that was turned off also now. I left a message there and said that I was concerned as I had not heard from him and his cell was turned off which I mentioned also concerned me. I asked him to call me today. He has not. I just texted him about 1/2 hour ago and made it light and said hello and hoped he was having a good day. Still nothing.
This is WEIRD. I am not getting this. I am holding off calling him at the moment. I want him to call me. I don’t want to seem like I am freaking out. I mean if he was trying to “break it off” with me… would be have been talking about marriage and stuff yesterday? And how the new job could help US?
I am lost here and need some advice or reassurance or something. I don’t want to jump to conclusions with him and seem like a freak, but it feels like something is wrong!!!
Ok I am bisexual and i have really liked this girl for about 6 months now. She don’t know I am bisexual. We started talking like friends a while back then i realised i actually really liked her and we became proper close, we would always flirt loads, talk loads and see eachother lots and she would do and say things that would really give me the impression she liked me. Then i asked her if she wanted to do something one day before I went away (holiday) and she was like yeah sure pizza hut or something? Is sarah going? .. (another girl) and i said up to you i dont mind, and she said yeah otherwise we will look like we are ona lesbian date, and when i said sarah couldnt go, she wouldnt go out! – i dont understand that at all and it upset me alot.
so i text her saying look seriously are you insecure about yourself or something? – not very sensative i know but i was upset.
since then she has blocked me online, we dont speak to eachother when we see eachother – why would she react this way?
I went away and i thought excellent im over her, but then we havent even talked and i still realise i like her! its crazy no matter what i do i cant move on!
I decided to text her cos i heard she was ill, so i said hiya i know im not your favorite person atm but heard you were ill, hope you feel betetr soon. She replied like what im fine with you! how are you etc
I dont understand how she can have such a slit personality, blocking me, ignoring me – then acting like its all good?
so i said look i know you have blocked me cos you are online on a old account you tell me to contact you when im home so we can go out and you ignore me. aparently she hasnt been online in a month – bullsh*t. So i said look its all since that text so i know somethings up, if you need to talk to anyone, you know where im here. No text back or anything.
I dont know what to do, I have had a incering before i even knew her properly she could be gay or bi. But I dont know what I should do, im thinking i may aswel tell her i am bisexual, see if it reasures her or something.
I just think theres too much there for me to just forget it. Maybe im being naive.
any advice, suggestions? Thanks for reading this long long long silly thing! 
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