I just got divorced and I am trying to get back with another girl. I am 19 years old, I am cautious and don’t want to be raped or even harmed physically.
Ok so granted I have only went out twice with this guy and am not emotionally invested in him…however, I contacted him with a joke (we have not spoken since our date almost a week ago) to touch base.
So he tells me he is “in a weird spot right now” and that he is “questioning his sexuality.”
Ok seriously, wtf? WHY is he online dating? I really cannot help but think it is me and him being possibly gay is the only way to “get rid of me”..oh and I am PMSing so I am more insecure than usual :p
PLEASE, can someone tell me this has happened to them?
And men, why would you even date a female if you were unsure of your taste?
There is a girl/young woman who goes to my church back home. Mind you, she is 6 years older than me (she’s 24 and I’m 18). I randomly started talking to her online one day and we both thought the other person was really cool. So we talked more and more, and eventually when summer came, we said hey, let’s hang out. So we hung out whenever she wasn’t working. I started thinking to myself, man, I wish she was my age, because she’s a really cool girl.
One day though, after going to the pool with her, we came back to her parent’s house, and things led to sex. So, I lost my virginity to her. She had told me online before when we were discussing our problems, that once she got to college she started making mistakes sexually. So.. i felt bad for just adding on to her list of mistakes. I felt horrible for having sex too though.
Anywayy.. after sex, as would be expected, I fell for her. HARD. I started considering her as a girlfriend, and wanted to date her pretty badly. Only one problem. I knew she was 6 years older than me, and plus, she goes to a different college than me.
I talked to a really cool pastor here in my college town and he told me that sex ties an invisible string around two people’s hearts, and that the connection I share with Lillian (the girl’s name, she has a gorgeous name too) is an unhealthy one. He suggested that we take a season off from each other. Not communicating, and getting our hearts in the right place and our minds cleared.
See, I completely agree with him, and I want to do this, but it’s almost impossible for me to. He’s right it is an unhealthy connection. My heart tells me that I love her, but my mind says I’m retarded. She goes to clubs, wears clothes that can sexually attract guys, and is very pretty which then leads to her getting hit on by a lot of guys. It’s not something I usually look for in a girl, and some of it is a turn off.
She’s Christian and wants to do things that are right, but she is kind of naive, and it hurts me. Because she’s naive, and I care for her, it really hurts me that I can’t be with her to watch out for her, and protect her from things she may not see. It seems like she has trouble seeing the wrong in what is around her. idk. She’s naive, and it makes me care for her even when I try not to.
What the heck do I do? I’m sitting here hurting day after day. I hung out with her all day this past labor day weekend, we both came home from college to visit. We kissed, hugged each other, and I cried, she teared up a little, but I think it’s because I was crying. She told me a while ago me that she wishes she had a guy like me, and that she would wait even longer than she has been waiting for someone like me. She’s a sweet, caring, lovely girl, who has an innocent heart, she really does. But she’s just not so aware of the things she’s doing. I wish I could not like her or stop thinking about her, but I absolutely, positively can’t.
It’s gotten to the point that when I try to hang out with girls in college, I feel uncomfortable, because I feel that I’m somewhat committed to Lillian? wtf, right?
Another thing, she’s about to graduate, and head off into the world and find a job. She wants to maybe move to LA and find a job. I don’t know.. there are just so many things that should convince me to move on.. but I just can’t. I mean.. seriously.. nothing will work out, right? She used to call me almost every night and I loved hearing her voice, but we’re trying this no communication thing out and it’s killing me, and it isn’t working.
Please help me.. I have a really soft heart and have no clue what to do.
There is a girl/young woman who goes to my church back home. Mind you, she is 6 years older than me (she’s 24 and I’m 18). I randomly started talking to her online one day and we both thought the other person was really cool. So we talked more and more, and eventually when summer came, we said hey, let’s hang out. So we hung out whenever she wasn’t working. I started thinking to myself, man, I wish she was my age, because she’s a really cool girl.
One day though, after going to the pool with her, we came back to her parent’s house, and things led to sex. So, I lost my virginity to her. She had told me online before when we were discussing our problems, that once she got to college she started making mistakes sexually. So.. i felt bad for just adding on to her list of mistakes. I felt horrible for having sex too though.
Anywayy.. after sex, as would be expected, I fell for her. HARD. I started considering her as a girlfriend, and wanted to date her pretty badly. Only one problem. I knew she was 6 years older than me, and plus, she goes to a different college than me.
I talked to a really cool pastor here in my college town and he told me that sex ties an invisible string around two people’s hearts, and that the connection I share with Lillian (the girl’s name, she has a gorgeous name too) is an unhealthy one. He suggested that we take a season off from each other. Not communicating, and getting our hearts in the right place and our minds cleared.
See, I completely agree with him, and I want to do this, but it’s almost impossible for me to. He’s right it is an unhealthy connection. My heart tells me that I love her, but my mind says I’m retarded. She goes to clubs, wears clothes that can sexually attract guys, and is very pretty which then leads to her getting hit on by a lot of guys. It’s not something I usually look for in a girl, and some of it is a turn off.
She’s Christian and wants to do things that are right, but she is kind of naive, and it hurts me. Because she’s naive, and I care for her, it really hurts me that I can’t be with her to watch out for her, and protect her from things she may not see. It seems like she has trouble seeing the wrong in what is around her. idk. She’s naive, and it makes me care for her even when I try not to.
What the heck do I do? I’m sitting here hurting day after day. I hung out with her all day this past labor day weekend, we both came home from college to visit. We kissed, hugged each other, and I cried, she teared up a little, but I think it’s because I was crying. She told me a while ago me that she wishes she had a guy like me, and that she would wait even longer than she has been waiting for someone like me. She’s a sweet, caring, lovely girl, who has an innocent heart, she really does. But she’s just not so aware of the things she’s doing. I wish I could not like her or stop thinking about her, but I absolutely, positively can’t.
It’s gotten to the point that when I try to hang out with girls in college, I feel uncomfortable, because I feel that I’m somewhat committed to Lillian? wtf, right?
Another thing, she’s about to graduate, and head off into the world and find a job. She wants to maybe move to LA and find a job. I don’t know.. there are just so many things that should convince me to move on.. but I just can’t. I mean.. seriously.. nothing will work out, right? She used to call me almost every night and I loved hearing her voice, but we’re trying this no communication thing out and it’s killing me, and it isn’t working.
Please help me.. I have a really soft heart and have no clue what to do.
Whats the have u been thinking about in your deepest thought?Do any of you guys or gals like to play pc games?What kind?If u are a lesbian or gay who would u turn your way if u could?Any body like online spades?Or online racing of any kind?Where would u take your date tonight if u had one?
I am pretty ordinary in most other ways, except I’m 35, have never had a boyfriend or sex, and am now beginning to question my identity.
‘That’s a bit late’ you might say, and I would agree, but I have been concentrating on my career thus far. I have recently been looking to get more of a life (I never really had that much fun at uni either – was too shy to go out much, and couldn’t afford it anyway!) cos I’m almost middle aged and don’t want to spend my future alone. I think I’d be a great mum too one day, but I won’t let myself think too much about that at the moment, because I really can’t see it happening.
I have joined a dating site, cos I don’t really like clubs and stuff, but I am getting nowhere. I think I am quite attractive. I have a pretty face, lovely teeth, a lovely warm personality, and yes, I’m curvy, but i am comfortable in my own skin. I don’t wear dresses or skirts, am not particularly feminine, and I have short hair. No men are biting. It’s really frustrating!
I spoke to an old friend from school who is a lesbian, and she said when she came out to her mum, her mum assumed she and I were an item and she herself was never quite sure if I was a les too. One of my old uni mates said she thought I was a lesbian at uni too, because I never really dated or went out much at uni. A work colleague told me that when I joined the firm, everyone assumed I was not straight, and she herself thinks I am being dishonest with myself, and I will have a lesbian epiphany at some point!
So it seems the only person to not really consider myself a lesbian (until I question it now) is me! How will I know if I am or not? I have never had sex with another person, lesbian or straight. I don’t have fantasies about other women, and I do ‘phwoar’ about particularly well toned men (and Declan Donnelly – what a cutie!), but, for goodness sake, I am getting on now and feel if I am going to continue to be happy, I need another person to make me feel whole – for cuddles, hair stroking, laughs and nice times together.
The other day, my old school mate told me she had thought about me in ‘that’ way, and I found it quite flattering to be thought about in a loving way by another, (especially since no men seem to be interested online), so does that mean I am a latent lesbian?
I don’t want to ‘go back unopened’ as it were, but I want to be opened in the way that is right for me with the right person. My crushes when I was a teen were always on men (Morten Harket, Philip Schofield!?! etc), and I kissed Morten’s pic nightly before bed, so i am finding it hard to come to terms with the idea that I might not be straight. Or maybe I am, and just need to stuff the shyness and get out there and have some fun!
I do fantasise about being subservient to someone in the bedroom, and in these dreams, the other alternates from being male to female and back again. It seems that the gender of the other in these fantasies does not matter, but the feeling I have of serving them is the bit I enjoy. I am a naturally helpful person, in quite a caring profession, so maybe these dreams are just an extension of that in a sexual context, but I don’t know. Do straight people and lesbians dream of being submissive, or is it mainly one or the other?
I really don’t know. Your reflections please (but please be sensitive because this is really quite a challenging time for me!). Thanks.
iam 18 shy christian guy, who also wears glasses. I nor do i want someone who does alcohol, smokes, and does drugs. Looking for someone who doesnt go for looks, and wants a long lasting relationship. I for one can care less about sex and i am waiting till i get married, also body parts i dont give a crap about. Iam one of the shy guys that would tell a girl, she is beautiful and gorgaous by her natural beauty and personallity, no need for makeup or a tan, just beautiful without it. I havent had a face to face relationship. All of mine have come from online dating. Only way i can open up, iam shy around crowds and am nervous.i do show my nervous and blush, i never try to hide it. I cant wear contacts and i cant get lazer eye surgery. I dont really know if iam ugly, i think iam alright. I wish i was physically attractive, but again i could care less if a girl was or not to anyone else, just enough for me. Im wondering if any girls would go for a guy like me?
shyniceguy2007@yahoo.com
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